The Garland Of Feelings

As my fingers wreathe
Word by word in blue ink
And as I breathe
Trying hard to not sink
Under the heavy heaves
Of the burdened sighs
And the weighed beliefs
Clear to the eyes
My feelings take shape
And before the wind sweeps
Every speck of this shape
I will wear the garland
Proudly over my head
For there is enough land
To bury it before it’s dead
But I wish to keep it alive
Alive and full of life
Even if it dwells on sadness
It’s flowers will always profess
Their love and confess
It to the happiness
That would once bloom
Far from the shadows of gloom.

© Aaliya Ahmad

Picture courtesy: Pinterest

Petals and pearls

Buds and petals bloom today,
Parts of us wither away,
Only to grow back again,
From where it all began,
Into a fabricated disdain,
Upon thy canvas of pain,
Life is but a lie,
No truth can ever deny,
If the petals scatter,
Or only pearls matter,
How could a flower, a flower be?
How would strings matter to thee?

© Aaliya Ahmad

P.C : Pinterest

Petals and Pearls

Solitude

Maybe it’s just us tonight,
And maybe that’s alright,
You, keeping up with my pace,
I, looking at you amidst the haze.

© Aaliya Ahmad

My First Heartbreak

The first time my heart was broken was on a warm spring morning when I was made to wake up early and was dressed in my best yellow frilled frock; it complemented the season outside and pretty much the happiness inside, so I began twirling and turning in my frock, watching it well up with all the happiness that was welling up inside me, now I only had to put my glittery sandals on and I would be out there, walking hand in hand with my mother, every step would make me turn and look at my feet shining just as bright as the sunshine. But before I could do that, my mother handed me the new back pack that was supposed to be used on my first day at prep. school, in all bewilderment I looked at her, I was made to believe that I am not going to school, we are supposed to go out and have fun. I can put all my stuff in it while we are out, so I don’t have to keep anything in my hands. Maybe I had already sensed the betrayal, because the bag that I was made to wear, wore out much of the happiness that had earlier swelled my frock with every twirl. Next, came my uncle, and the three of us were off. I didn’t get the chance to look at my sandals shine as I walked. The gate where the car stopped and the path that I was made to walk, were the first steps that I walked over the bridge of betrayal, on one hand my new teacher holding my hand, and on the other, my hand refusing to let go of the fingers that I had held, hoping to never get to the other side of the bridge. I vaguely remember crying and mumbling words, and my uncle’s mouth moving, probably telling me to go, but I clearly remember his thumb pushing my fingers away from his hand and amidst the entire hubbub, children laughing and shouting, others trying to get over their heart break and some like me, crying to go back, through my hazy vision, I looked for my mother but I couldn’t see her, and as I blinked my sight was clear, she never got down to see me off. I don’t really remember what I did that entire day, and the days after I was only motivated to go back by the activities and games and occasionally the red lip-color my sister glided on my lips. But I remember the days there swinging on the swing, soaring high, imagining to be in the sky, when I cried and laughed, and made friends, completed my puzzles, puzzled but showed them proudly to my teacher, and most of all, the walks back home with my mother, walking hand in hand, telling her all the details of my day.

Attributes Of Allah

Al-Mubdi (The originator)
.
“See they not how Allah originates creation, then repeats it? That surely is easy for Allah.”
-The Holy Qur’an, 29:20

Attributes Of Allah

“Al Muhsi”
( The Reckoner)
It’s beyond the human competence to  praise the almighty in sufficiency and to have the knowledge of what is in this world and after for them and the secrets of the unfathomable, we may not be able to calculate the secrets of our existence and everything that exists around us but Allah(swt) has complete knowledge of it all and is thus AL MUHSI, the reckoner, who has full knowledge about the unfathomed heights and weights and the uncountable  elements, and so, about the uncalculated blessings in our life.
We seldom count the blessings that we are bestowed upon, and at one point even if we want to count them, they become countless because every day we get so much to be thankful for that at a certain point we acknowledge the fact that Allah the Almighty has blessed us immensely and putting it all in a confined space is impossible.
We need constant reminders to be thankful and cherish what we have because when despair sets in we do not remain conscious of what we need to hold on to and the need to manifest our gratitude towards the creator and the bestower.
The Supreme Being who has the knowledge of the unfathomable secrets of life and death, has calculated for us the best we can ever desire, “he is the light of the heavens and the earth” ( اللَّهُ نُورُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ)
and it’s his grace that holds every part of our existence.
Let’s be grateful for all the blessings that we have certainly lost track of and have faith that everything that has been going off track will be set back on track by the Almighty.
©Aaliya Ahmad

Freedom and women

Being free is essential today, especially for women, free in terms of their choices about what to wear, to do, to speak, to follow and every other aspect of a woman’s life which she deserves to have in her own control. Women today don’t need anybody to dictate them on what to do and where to be, for there are some people who always speak up against anything bad meted out on women. This attitude of the world makes everybody happy, including me, but choices, if they are ours to make, why does it seem like enforced obedience when women wear hijab, cover their bodies up, and dress the way they find modest?
I get a lot of, “do you wear that all the time?”, “Why are you under so many restrictions?”, and ” doesn’t it feel hot?” among many other questions which seem silly and really annoy.
Being free doesn’t really have to be only in terms of clothing, it has to be about your ideas and your mind to have the audacity to accept the changes that are around you, just because someone dresses differently than the prescribed fads of the time doesn’t make them from a different planet.
Growing up I always looked up to becoming like my Mom, I used to copy the way she dresses and believe that I was her, that’s it, like every one of you who aspires to become like your mom’s and dad’s, a girl with a hijab on, aspires to become like her mom, and with a better understanding of what hijab is, she tries to become a better person.
In times when freedom is being much sought after, acceptance should follow, not only for a girl with hijab but every human being who is different, because when people judge your mind to be narrow or broad, based on how much or less, how long or short your dress is, it better indicates the wide spectrum into which their mind stagnates.
I was always exposed to a very protective environment, where I never felt like standing up for myself because I knew someone else would but today, now that I am away from the way things were at home, I see how people struggle to accept me the way I am, derogatorily shouting Allahu Akbar and some self-created, Arabic sounding words and laughing as I walk past, and some directly generalizing and being vocal about how Muslims are not good, just because they are Muslims but I never let that overshadow the love and warmth I get from the majority of the people, especially my friends.
The next time someone calls me a terrorist for wearing a hijab or looks down on me for covering my body, I might not say a word in return, but I will be reminded of the fact that these people talk about equality and freedom and consider themselves modern, yet can’t free their minds off the stereotypes about a particular attire.
I hope we all accept each other with our differences not being a factor of prejudice. ©Aaliya Ahmad

Kashmir- A cascade of heart ruins.

Putting a brave face on to every death and with it, the very death of humanity every day is the hardest of all tasks, its like the pain in the whole of your bosom, that very smile that passes for happiness but has a deeper tinge of sadness in it and is the hardest to put on. I belong to a place where every moment a smile is put out, a tear is longing to fall down, a heart is wailing to pour out the shouts it has suppressed for so long, a place which was once (so I am told) the prettiest and purest of all, is smothered with blood every day (which I know). Going by the other things that I know, humanity has died here every time in every milieu, people have been exiled, houses were burnt and people were killed, things have changed yet the burning and killing factor stays constant.
This place, to which I belong is a saddle, mounting through which the saddest of journeys can be ridden, you can ride through every scale of sadness. The need to brighten up the mood through fairy tales does not linger on the minds anymore as there is a truer story to be heard, no matter how frightening, it is to be heard and as the sun sets, I no longer wait for a lovely tale to be told, because I know a tale of sadness is making its way towards me or maybe through me.

There are no reasons to love people, it’s just that you get attached to them.
For me it’s hard to describe love for things and people, I can say that I am attached to certain people though.
Our sources to seek solace are often spritual, and that’s what love is for me, somewhere too serene to notice the materialistic world.
I enjoy staying with people, having fun, participating but at the end it leads to the exhaustion of my mind, hence it doesn’t pacify the thirst of peace in my heart.
People change, their disposition doesn’t remain consistent, but we need to brace ourselves to face these changes, which often are heartbreaking.
Let people do what they do, let people say what they say, because in the end the people won’t matter, what would matter are your intentions, intentions too pure to wipe the malice in the hearts.